Ever get those days where it feels like your constantly busy yet when someone asks what you have done all day you reply ‘Nothing’?
At the moment Im back at this stage, I remember going through the same when Eva was a baby. When you have a newborn almost every second of the day is filled yet it doesnt feel like you have achieved a thing.
You can ask a friend what they have done all day, you may get the typical answers, work, shopping, housework etc But then you get asked and look back on your day and struggle to find anything you can say you have done. It’s easy enough to list everything you haven’t got round to doing but not what you have done.
A typical day with a newborn goes something like this…
Wake up, Change baby, Feed baby, Burp baby, Change baby again, Cuddle baby, Attempt to get baby to sleep, Replace fallen dummy every 2 minutes, Attempt a dash to the loo for a much needed wee (Remember ladies this is why we need to do our pelvic floor exercises ;) ). Try settling baby again as they sensed you left the room and needed a wee and woke back up and got worked up. Tip toe backwards quietly in the hope baby doesnt wake up again. Sneak off to try and get some breakfast, manage to get a cuppa made and a bowl of cereal ready to eat, lift your spoon then immediately dash back to a screaming baby, calm baby, change baby, get them dressed, feed baby, burp baby, change both yours and babies clothing as its almost time to go out so baby has of course sensed this and been sick and/or pee’d/poo’d over you both.
Now if your lucky you are dressed in whatever fell out of the wardrobe/you found on the floor that doesnt smell like sick and your hair will be pushed back and chucked up in a messy ponytail/bun (No its not that ‘casual messy’ fashion statement look its that ‘im lucky if my hair has seen a hairbrush in the past week’ kinda look). Its almost midday and you hoped to be out the door 2 hours ago but your starting to feel like your getting close to being able to leave at least so you start getting the changing bag ready.
Baby wakes up screaming, change baby, feed baby, burp baby. Struggle to get baby into buggy long enough for you to find your shoes. Change babies clothes and wipe down the buggy as baby has been sick everywhere. Feed baby again, burp again, decide as its now nearly 2pm you may aswell give up and struggle back into your pjs with just one hand while holding the baby as they refuse to be put down and your head is likely to explode if you hear baby screaming for even another second!
So you’ve just spent a good 6-8 hours doing pretty much the same thing on repeat. A friend turns up and tells you how they have done all their housework (whilst looking around your pigsty shaking their head) been shopping and had a lovely lunch at the cafe (while your still wondering if its too late to finish that ice cold cuppa and soggy bowl of cereal on the side) then thought they would come keep you company as you must be ‘bored’ stuck indoors doing ‘nothing’ all day.
This stage really got to me with Eva, I felt like I was lazy because the housework wasnt done, the shopping hadnt been done, i hadnt left the house in days while the Mr went to work. He would come back telling me all about his day, the different people he had met, the conversations he had had… Then when he asked me Id say ‘nothing’ because other than feeding and changing Eva I hadnt really done anything else, it doesnt mean I had sat there watching TV or sleeping all day but thats how it seemed to come across.
Somehow this time I am managing to squeeze in getting Eva up and ready for school in the mornings (Luckily after seeing what a struggle it was getting me and both girls ready in the morning the Mr took over the morning school run) a little bit of housework or the odd bit of shopping and picking Eva up every day. Yet it still feels like I’m doing ‘nothing’ most days!
So after sitting there thinking about what I can do to either change how I feel about my days or work out a way to squeeze some stuff in I remembered the book I got when Eva was little. I found it such a big help, I would read a few pages whilst feeding and slowly I stopped feeling quite so ‘lazy’. So for any of you mum’s out there feeling the same please, please look for a book called ‘What Mothers Do: especially when it looks like nothing’ by Naomi Stadlen. I’m so glad I kept my copy and will be picking it back up for a reread later today :)